Dysfunctional family fluff
by hannica7
Summary: A complete fluff story that shows the Kirklands and co's relationship as well as economic pressures.


Smoke swirled around in England's living room. Once upon a time ago the smoke would have turned into moving shapes of animals such as dragons, birds or a hare. But that was when he was small and in need of entertainment. Instead a full grown England sat among the haze that was swirling in the light from the window and around the room filled with book shelves, priceless art, and a couple of arm chairs and a sofa. England sat in one arm chair, while in the other sat the source of the smoke, which was red haired man in a blue army uniform with the same thick eyebrows and brilliant green eyes as England. He sat with his feet on England's coffee table looking troubled, he had a glass of whisky in his hand. 

"You shouldn't smoke like that Alba, it's not good for you." Warned England who strode across the room and took one of Alba's cigarettes for himself. 

This only earned a small grunt of displeasure from the red head, while in different circumstances he would have punched England as hard as he could. However the two brothers, as the red head nicknamed Alba was Englands older brother Scotland, where to depressed at the circumstances to fight. 

"Like you should be talking eejit, your just as bad as him!" hissed An angry red head sitting on the windowsill with the same eyes and bushy eyebrows as his brothers. 

He was wearing green, and cradling a pint of beer, his red hair was not as violent as his brother insult wasn't as bad as usual either, as usually as soon as he saw England he tried to punch him, demanding that he gave back what belonged to him, meaning of course northern Ireland, or his marvelous hat. 

"No one asked your opinion Ireland." muttered England after exhaling a lot of smoke that swirled up to meet his brothers. England was only a stress smoker, and lately he had been smoking almost as many as Scotland.

"Wales is late." England continued  
>"It's to be expected, its sheep shearing month." Announced Scotland <p>

England and his brothers sat glumly, trying to figure out the circumstances to their failing economy, now they had been knocked down to the seventh most industrial countries, being over taken by Brazil. So far the only conclusion they had had been to beat Brazil up, but for obvious reasons it was not being considered seriously. 

A knock at the door disrupted their thoughts. None of them felt like answering the door, but England eventually brought himself to answer it in case it was Wales. When he opened the door clouds of smoke escaped causing the tall blonde haired country with glasses to cough. 

"Hey England I think your house is on fire! Don't worry I'm a hero so I'll save you." cried the blonde as he picked up England and swung him into a fire mans lift. 

"Let go you Idiot! My house isn't on fire!" Cried out an embarrassed England who gave his moronic offspring a soft blow to the head. 

"Well if it isn't the wee bairn, America" A voice sneered from inside Englands house. The smoke covered his figure so all that could be seen where two bright green eyes sparkling in the darkness.  
>"Scotland..." Warned England who was now sitting on the ground after being painfully dropped by a shocked America.<p>

"Aye Iggy? Isn't it a little shameful to be held like a lass?" He teased and emerged from the house and stared eye to eye with America.  
>"Dude, I totally though you where some kind of monster! Talk about grand entrances, you gotta teach me that!" America said happily completely ignorant to the less than welcoming atmosphere. <p>

England could have face palmed, if he wasn't so amazed at Americas lack of interest in Scotland. America didn't even ask who Scotland was, though he had met Ireland plenty of times. Instead England just looked dumbfounded at America.  
>"Yo Ireland! Long time no see!" America announced walking passed an enraged Scotland.<br>"Don't talk to me in such a familiar fashion as if we were friends" Ireland punched America in the stomach 

Before the economic crash America wouldn't have felt a thing, but now he was in quite a weak sickly state, and doubled over.  
>"America!" Called out England <p>

Suddenly Ireland didn't look so proud of himself, after all in mentality it was like picking on a foolish teenage boy, and a sick teenage boy at that. Still his regret didn't last long, as he convinced himself it was for the brats own good that he learnt some manners. 

"America go home, you're sick right now and your uncles are not in the best of moods to deal with crazy schemes today." England ordered him as he stood up. 

He then placed a fatherly hand on top of Americas head for a brief moment and then went to walk inside.

"No way am I leaving dude. You guys are going to talk about how to help your economies, so I want in too! After all its my failing economy that started this mess!" Replied America in a surprisingly serious way. 

England was taken aback by what America had said. He was obviously sicker than any other country right now, but he was still fighting, he wasn't lying in bed hoping something would happen, or smoking and drinking his problems away. England admired him slightly though he would never admit it.

"Fine, come on in." He sighed in a way of keeping up the appearance of a father dealing with a badly behaved, tiresome child. 

"Yeh spoil him too much, no wonder he's a gobby brat." Whispered Ireland to England just loud enough for Scotland could hear. 

"Maybe so, but he really is a good kid with a good heart, even if the things he says and does are stupid" whispered back England to his brothers  
>"Well he doesn't get that from ye, as yer a hertless bas" Hissed Scotland<br>"Shut up haggis breath." Hissed back England 

It was a weak come back, but after seeing a very sickly America trying so hard the brothers had to admit it had given them the strength to try and fight their circumstances. So much that they where squabbling amongst themselves, though not in the normal way, but it was still an improvement to before.

Chap 2 Maple leaves and banks

"So what conclusions have you come too?" Asked America between mouthfuls of chips that he had brought with him. 

England, Ireland and Scotland all looked at each other exchanging glances. America looked at the expression on each of his family members faces. 

"None huh? Well I guess we could ask someone in the family who the bad economy has hardly hit due to the protection hes put in place in his banks. Mind you, you guys don't have half the resources he has, so you can't copy him in that aspect, maybe you could do the same security measures as he does?" America said

The three brothers all looked at America like he had grown an extra head. There was two reasons, first they had no idea such a family member existed,but the most surprising thing was that America had actually said something smart and reasonable. 

"Well we could... but ah how do we contact him?" Asked England pretending he knew who America was talking about.

"Dude your one of his fathers! You have to have his number somewhere!" Said an amazed America 

"One of his fathers eh?" Smirked Scotland  
>England gave Scotland a frosty glare then waved his hand to indicate he should shut up and let America continue. Scotland was about to argue, but Ireland shared the same expression as England, and the fact that Ireland was agreeing with England slightly unnerved him. Of course it was for good reason, Ireland was in a lot of debt and was fighting a similar sickness to America. They all where, but Ireland was hit a little worse than his brothers, though still not as badly as America. <p>

"I'll call him, he wanted to play a game of hockey today. You guys should see him when he does, the transformation in him is unreal, he comes off way more like you guys when he plays..." America Babbled as he picked up his i phone. 

After a phone call, America announced that the mystery country would be over in a few hours and they should just sit tight. This gives Wales some time to appear thought England. 

A few hours later after Wales, the dirty blonde and long haired version of England himself, had arrived the doorbell rang,America answered it and opened the living room door to allow the person in. The sight what greeted him was England talking to a unicorn, Ireland talking to a leprechaun, Scotland talking to the Lochness monster and Wales a dragon. Of course he couldn't see the magical creatures who had flocked into the room to hear the news about this mystery family member. 

"Hey guys this isn't the time to lose your minds! Your frightening my little bro!" America told them 

Everyone in the room, magical or U.K brother turned to face him. Standing by his side was a clone of America, with purple eyes instead of blue, round glasses instead of square and a longer hair style with his bangs framing his face.

"Erm America... I thought we where going to play hockey..." The country said in a quiet voice.  
>"Nah we can't right now, we have to talk to dad and our uncles." America said<br>"Who..?" Asked England  
>" It's me dad, Canada." replied a sad Canada<br>"Dude, like dad would really forget you!" America laughed 

Canada looked thoughtful. Sometimes America could be a good elder brother. It was true he caused him a lot of trouble with other nations and sometimes in trading, but when it came to laws and legal matters sometimes he gave warnings. "Don't copy me, otherwise you'll make the same mistakes." America often warned when it came to environmental concerns and acts. It seemed like he was doing his good son act now. 

"what would you like?" Canada said  
>"You know me, any oil you got lying around and some of your rivers would be nice too." America said<br>" No sorry" Canada apologized 

England smacked America on the head again at the exact same time that Ireland and Scotland punched him in each of his arms. America let out a yelp before Canada came to his rescue by begging that they left him alone. 

"What we wanted to know Canada, is your banking systems. Will you be willing to share with us the protection methods you use to protect yourself from the bad economy?" England asked

"Okay." Canada agreed 

Canada launched into the system he had, while England and his uncles frantically took notes. America had tried to take notes, but got bored and fell asleep. When Canada shook him awake he looked at his worried little brothers face.  
>"America you should have paid attention!" Said a worried Canada<br>America yawned and stretched and smiled at his little brother.  
>"Is okay, I can do this my own way. Everyone right now is trying their best in my house. We need a lot more than a new bank system. Besides you'll always be next to me, so you can help out too, right Canada?" Said a hopeful America <p>

Canada sighed and smiled. He was always like this. Doing things his own way. Canada didn't mind helping him out now and then. He liked having a good relationship with his brother really, even if he did like to whine about him to anyone who listened. He was always the first to help America out in anything, and hoped that America would one day do the same for him.

"Sure, but don't go to extreme. You know I don't like it when you drag me into insane things like that." Canada smiled 

Family time 

England grimaced when he woke up. He and his brothers had been drinking last night in celebration of Canadas notes. He suddenly realized he had no idea where his young sons had got too. Still he got up with a groan, dressed himself into his normal black pants shirt and tie finishing with a sweater vest. And stumbled out of the door.

As soon as he had a mess like a bomb site met his eyes. In the large sweeping hallway a naked France was sleeping on the floor, with burnt out candles and rose petals scattered around him. How the french man got into his house was a mystery to him, but he imagined it had something to do with his crazy brother Scotland who claimed France was his friend, and he proceeded up the hallway, making sure to kick France and step on his fingers as he went. He arrived at the first of many spare bedrooms. He opened it and a flock of sheep ran out of the door and down the stair case. England pinched the bridge of his nose in an aggravated gesture and walked in. 

Wales was sleeping on the bed with his head resting on a dragon. England gazed around the room and saw that the sheep had tried to eat everything in the room, including a chewed up set of curtains and the rug. England disappeared for a while and came back holding a jug of water and threw it over Wales. Wales bolted up right and began spluttering.  
>"I don't want to hear your explanation for the sheep, but you'll be charged for my expensive Persian rug as well as the curtains." England replied giving off a aura like he had back in his Pirate gulped, remembering that his brother maybe the youngest, and fun to tease, but he was the most ruthless out of them all. <p>

England left the room with a sigh and continued to the next room. There he found Ireland. Ireland had torn up the room, probably in his temper, and had gone to bed bruised and with dry blood all over his face and matted in his red hair.  
>England proceeded to clean him up, place bandages and dressings on his wounds. Then he came to his arm he saw it was broken and in need of being pulled. England remembered that he himself had broken it when the two had been fighting. He winced, Rum had always had such a disastrous affect on him. He sighed and pulled the bone back into place. Of course Ireland woke up and issued a blood curdling scream. After he had finished setting it and put it in a sling he left a shocked Ireland looking tearfully up at him.<br>"W-w-hy?" Stammered Ireland horrified and fearful that England maybe up to his old cruel ways, and be torturing him.  
>"Thats for trying to take out my people last night" Answered England threateningly As he had just remembered why they had been fighting and why he had drunk rum in the first place.<p>

Once he Left Ireland a worried France, who had found a pair of Englands union Jack boxers, and Wales ran up to him.  
>"What have you done to him?" Wailed Wales<br>"Fixed his broken arm" Replied a calm England As he left the two of them to rush into Irelands room. 

In the next room the inhabitants where already stirring. Obviously they had heard Irelands scream, and a scantily dressed women fled the room.  
>"Ach Jenny it was nothin" Called a half naked Scotland<br>"Alba, why are you with a women in my house?" England asked with a hint of malice  
>"Stop acting like a wee lass Iggy, whats wrong never been with one?" Teased Scotland<br>It was now Englands turn to smirk.  
>"Really Alba you're going to tease an ex-pirate about his lack of a love life? (England let out a cruel laugh) Should I remind you how many nieces and nephews you have?"<br>Scotland didn't seem so proud of his comment anymore. He let out a growl as he light one of his cigarettes. He then blew smoke into England's face and slammed the door shut. England coughed and spluttered but still smiled, he had won this round, well until Scotland was less hung over and could argue more effectively, as England realized there many great come backs to his comment.

England walked down the stairs into his kitchen and made himself some tea. Fairies, flying mint bunny and his unicorn all chattered to him happily while he drank his tea. He walked into the living room, followed by his magical crew. He was pleased that the lower level was in better condition. However he still didn't know where his own children where. He always took care of them when they were younger... but he was probably a horrible dad right? After all they all left... England felt a twinge of pain come from his heart. Tears threatened their way into his eyes but he blinked them back and chewed on his lip to stop it from trembling.

"Hey England! I brought you some pop tarts!" Yelled an annoying voice as an equally annoying face peered round the corner, his square glasses flashing in the morning light.  
>"If you don't hurry then Canada will eat them all!" He laughed as Canada denied it. <p>

England smiled. Maybe as a pirate he had lived an exciting life, feared by many including his brothers, and owned countless when he had became a father he had given it all up, and even though it had been thrilling, none of it had the same happy content feeling as eating pop tarts with his sons, or getting a painful blow in the back of the head by a angry Ireland and a kick by an annoyed Scotland. He could have done without a sudden sneak attack from France who succeeded in stealing a kiss from him, but even that was a complicated relationship. 

Yeah, his family was dysfunctional, and France wasn't really considered family in his opinion, but it was a good one. Other countries, and even themselves may question it, but at the end of the day they always came to each others defences. He sighed and smiled happily.  
>"Oi stop looking all happy like that! Its creepy and we still haven't fixed our most pressing issue!" Scotland yelled and the four U.k brothers began another fist fight, with Canada looking panicked in the background and America and France laughing.<p> 


End file.
